[ He inhales sharply when Lad's hips meet his as his fingers curl sharply into his partner's shoulder.
It's the sound of the sigh that pulls him from his moment of pleasure, his eyes opening to take in the expression on Lad's face. When he finishes speaking, Solas sighs softly. ]
I never thought you did. [ And perhaps that's a light jab at matters beyond those in the bedroom. ] What feels good?
[He watches as the wave of pleasure hit Solas, and perhaps felt a bit better. He had done something right... right? Even if it hadn't been intentional.
Then Solas makes the smart remark and he just goes back to pouting and lets out a huff. He wasn't really that mad, but he felt like he had to make a show of it being the drama queen he was. He's got a serious problem! He wants his pants off, but would it be weird now? He should have done it when he was standing maybe still? Or would that have seem too desperate? Wasn't there some sort of guideline for this?
Well, Solas seemed to like when he grinded up against him like this. He'd just passive aggressively squirm and shift his hips like he's trying to settle himself. Take that Vhenan.]
It's all felt good...
[He's pretty much adjusted to being in a perpetual state of horny and frustrated. He wanted to do more, but he wasn't certain what. This wasn't exactly covered in the "how to breed" lecture he got as a kid for obvious reasons.]
[ Of course Lad is pouting. Solas could hardly say he was surprised and he found the expression more amusing than attractive. It's the shifting of Lad's hips and the promise of what's to come that keeps him interested.
Another sharp intake of breath and his eyes flutter shut as his hand grips Lad's waist, holding him there for a brief moment before releasing him. Best not to keep the easily startled version in place when he was tempted to rut against him. ]
Then what can I do to make this easier? [ He wanted Lad to be an active participant in his own pleasure which meant making sure the man was comfortable enough to do it. ]
[Well, he had been trying to tease Solas with that, but seeing him react along with feeling it gets him to bite his lip. That was actually really nice. Still, he wanted this to be more than his clumsy squirming.]
Please, just do something, don't leave it all up to me.
[That was a lot of pressure when he just felt so lost with all of this.]
[ He sighs. ] I thought you would enjoy the chance to try something.
[ But if his partner would rather be more passive then Solas could accommodate. He reaches for Lad's hand and sits up further, nudging the other elf until he's the one laying down. ]
You can relax, Lad. If it was going to bite you... [ Then it would have already. He lets his hands settle on Lad's waist as he positions himself over his lover. Removing his trousers would be step one to place them on equal footing. ]
I did! It's just... [He noted the sigh, and while he was relieved not to be the one in charge he didn't want to disappoint Solas either. So he propped himself up on his hands to get his face closer to Solas.] I can try again next time, right? I just don't want to mess this up.
[He obliged Solas and lifted his hips so that he could slide his trousers down off his hips. He let out a sigh, glad to be rid of them, then demurely looked up at Solas, tucking a his bangs behind his ear so he could watch Solas' reaction. If there was anything he knew it was that he had a pretty face, but this was the first time someone saw all of him.]
[ Solas pulls back once Lad's pants have been discarded and his eyes linger over the man's form in no small amount of appreciation. There was a lot he liked about Lad and that he found the man undeniably attractive was icing on it all.
A hand roams down Lad's side and finally he meets his partner's gaze as he straddles his hips. ]
You make this sound complicated. [ He settles his weight on Lad's thighs and reaches to take both of his hands in his. ] I would not be here if I thought this would end in a mistake.
Well not all of us can have an immortal's life experience. [He laughed playfully teasing Solas. Didn't need to be an immortal to have more experience than him in this, he knew.
It was cut short as Solas shifted. He let himself fall back onto the pillow and inhaled sharply and spread his legs to accommodate his partner.]
Solas... [He brought their intertwined hinds to his lips so he could kiss Solas' fingers. He smiled up at him, nervous still, but also excited and genuinely happy.] ar lath ma.
[ Lad loves him and judging by the affection, it wasn't a statement the man was throwing around in the moment. He hesitates though he leaves his hands in Lad's. He cared for the man, deeply, but he couldn't give him his heart, not when he was so unsure of his place here, in this Thedas.
But what could he say that wouldn't destroy the moment and leave the man beneath him shattered? He tries to find the words and fails. What comes out sounds pathetic even to his own ears, ] I did not realize your feelings were so strong.
[He didn't pick up on anything too wrong at first. They hadn't really known each other very long, especially to an immortal. He gives Solas' hands a squeeze.]
I know it hasn't been long, but I don't think I've ever been so happy with someone before. [He smiles as he looks down at their hands, and runs his thumb over Solas' fingers.] This is the longest I've ever been away from my clan. They've always been a few hours away at most. I should be homesick, and a part of me is, but I don't mind it really. Normally I'd be terrified, but I've just been happy, and when we've been together I can't think of anything that I'm afraid of.
[Disappointing Solas, and spiders aside of course. But he hasn't told Solas about the spiders thing yet. He's not going to for as long as he is able.]
[ That happened far more quickly than he would have thought. He frowns as he watches Lad, unsure of just how much he's expecting from this now. ]
And if I decide to leave your clan when we return? [ he asks as he tugs Lad's hands together until he's clasping them. ] I do not want to make promises I cannot keep. If you are hoping for more-- [ More what? He falters there and shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts. ]
I do not know how much of myself I can give now.
[ With all he has lost and what he is trying to regain, in seeking his place in the world... Lad was a good partner, someone who kept it far lighter than Solas and provided him a cheerful alternative to his thoughts when they threatened to darken. He couldn't burden him with that when he was in no place to offer the same. ]
[Solas first question was enough to wipe the silly little grin off his face. He obviously had not thought that far ahead. Was Solas truly considering leaving after this? Where would he go? A part of him wanted to ask to come with him, but before he does he thinks through it. Could he leave his clan? He had been raised his whole life to fulfill one role, he had a duty to his clan to take care of them. Could he really turn his back on them?
He was tempted, but he knew he couldn't.]
Well, the heart wants what it wants. I can't make you feel the same for me, and I can't change how I feel either but...
[He felt like an idiot for it now, but what could he do? He loved him. That Solas hadn't completely pulled away was something, wasn't it? If he wanted to just use him, then he wouldn't have said anything, and if he didn't care somehow, he wouldn't be saying these things either.]
that's all the more reason to stay close right? In case you change your mind?
[His voice was quiet and more subdued, but he still looked up and smiled. He had to have some hope, that was what he was good for. He was afraid, and the levity that his affection brought was now accompanied by an anxious knot in his gut, but it was worth it. Being with Solas was worth the risk, and worth the wait.]
[ Solas sighs deeply and leans down to rest his forehead against Lad's. They were here together and if Solas had wanted, had truly wanted to abandon the man, he would have walked out by now. Instead, he was here and he wanted to make sure Lad understood at least that much. ]
You should not wait for someone to change their mind, da'samahl, [ he murmurs. ] You have far more worth than that. I can give you what I can offer for as long as I am able.
[ In whatever measure that would end up taking in their journey together. All he wanted was to be sure Lad understood. ]
[He closed his eyes to bask in the gesture before focusing on what Solas was saying. He didn't know what to make of it really. Aside from being good for a laugh every so often, what else was there? There was obviously something wrong with him if Solas had been the first person he was able consider a friend in his life. He couldn't just say something like that though, but he couldn't bring himself to agree with Solas either, so he did what came naturally and deflected with a bit of humor.
The cheeky little grin came back, and he managed to bring back the previous levity of his tone. He could just pretend things weren't so... so... messy between them, at least for now. It seemed to him that was something Solas might need too, he had things far worse. Ladanelan knew he at least had a place to call home to return to, Solas didn't. This way, Solas didn't have to be alone, and he got to make the man he loved happy. It was enough for him.]
How do you know this isn't simply about my desire to keep your freckles all to myself?
[ Solas isn't sure if he finds Lad's reversion to his old self calming or worrying. In the end, the man is more than old enough to make his own decisions and Solas had said his piece. ]
Because you appeared serious for the first time since I've met you, [ he remarks, brushing Lad's hair out of his face. ] If you want me stop now or later--
[ In case Lad needed the reminded after their interlude. Solas could put his trousers back on, uncomfortably tight as they might be, and let Lad be if he wanted. Though if the man wanted to share this moment with him, he would gladly take part. ]
[He let out a sigh as Solas brush his bangs aside. If there was anything he was confident about it was that his hair was nice, and that he could finally see his efforts appreciated. Vanity had been a useful pastime after all!]
I was serious like one other time! [He answers Solas' other remark by wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him. He hadn't forgotten. He had even considered it briefly, very briefly, but knew this was what he wanted and there was no turning back.
At least this way, he could make Solas happy for a time and could hopefully console himself with that if he eventually left, and Lad wouldn't even have to worry about Solas seeing him try to come to terms with it after, since he'd be gone. He couldn't deal with making such a fool of himself now, in a situation where he'd have to face the one he loved every day, he didn't think Solas could either. It had taken so much to get him to come out of his shell, if they pulled away now he feared Solas would retreat to it and try to shoulder his entire burden alone. Even if it wasn't love, Solas did care and he'd do what he thought would be best for him, even if it meant isolating himself.
And of course the more immediate and far less romantic reason that he's been hard for an entire age it felt like and he needed to get off, and the only person he wanted to get him off was Solas.]
[ The kiss puts his concerns at ease and he presses eagerly into it, wasting no time in deepening it. If this was what Lad wanted, then he wouldn't deny either of them a moment of respite.
He rests his arms on either side of Lad, using them to keep himself upright, as he shifts to line their hips up. Lad wasn't the only one with a hard-on and wanting relief, a point Solas more than happily proves as he rolls his against Lad, groaning into their kiss. ]
[Ladanelan hummed from the pleasing sensation, melting into his lover's touch. He hadn't it expected it to feel much different from masterbating, but there was so much more to take in- the feel of Solas' body moving against his, the taste of his lips, and the heat from their loins grinding together. It was was enough to make him reflexively jerk his hips up to press himself more into his lover, it made him break the kiss for a moment to gasp from the unexpected wave of pleasure the movement brought him.]
[ There was one thing to be said for Lad, he made it very clear that he was enjoying himself. Solas smiles as he pulls back from the kiss, biting at Lad's bottom lip as his mouth travels along his jawline. ]
Go ahead, [ he murmurs, his own breathing uneven and hot against Lad's jaw as he keeps his hips firm against his partner but not moving. The man was free to lose himself in the motion as Solas bite and sucked his way to the crook of Lad's neck. ]
[He let his head fall back to give Solas all the access to his neck that he wanted, his name quick to spill from Ladanelan's lips with the new attention. The feeling of Solas' mouth lingered on his neck and it made his skin tingle in anticipation where he would feel his lover's lips next. Just to keep himself grounded he had to grab onto whatever he could, so he brought a hand to Solas' head and entangled it in his partner's loosely bound mane.
Per Solas' instruction he rutted up into his lover, clumsily and desperate at first, but after a few awkward thrusts, he started to fall into a rhythm. His hips started to move more fluidly, though still rapid and hungry, his inexperience and blind lust driving him to rush to his climax... which was fast approaching. Stamina wasn't exactly something he was well practiced in.]
[ His eyes flutter closed and he groans into Lad's neck as he lets himself be used to bring Lad off. It wouldn't be the most satisfying orgasm the man could have had, but it would be an easy start and gave his partner a chance to take control of his own enjoyment. That was something Solas could tell he had very little practice in. They had a long journey ahead of them and many more nights they would be spending together.
With all of Lad's neck in easy reach, his mouth doesn't stop moving until the other man is sporting a decent sized mark. His hand moves to idly run his fingertips along the outer ridge of Lad's ear. ]
[If Solas told him that he could have had a better orgasm, Ladanelan wouldn't have believed him. He didn't even know he could cum as hard as he did. His mind had gone blank when he climaxed and he called out for his lover without any consideration to those that might hear. When he started to come down from it he found he had arched his back up into Solas, and wrapped his legs around his waist. His hand was balled into a fist in his lovers hair, pulling it hard, though that had been unintentional, and he loosened his grip once he had rode out his orgasm.
He muttered bumbling words of affection and one more quiet "ar lath ma" as he finally eased himself down on the bed so he could catch his breath. His loins felt tender and he was just starting to realize what a mess he must look like, but he was happy.]
[ Spirits, had he ever been this full of fervor to get off? Lad's energy is infectious as he groans into the man, one of his hands resting on Lad's leg to keep it up and around him. With his lover's hand balled into his hair, he tugs his head enough to feel the satisfying pull on his scalp.
Lad's quick finish means Solas is still hard and pressed against him though Solas isn't complaining. He kisses along Lad's marked neck until his lips are hovering over Lad's. ]
I have never seen you more beautiful, [ he murmurs. Desperate and wanting then a happy mess once he's found his release. ]
[If it had been anyone else, at any other time, he'd think they were mad. He was covered in sweat, his normally meticulously done hair was a disheveled mess, he was on his back naked on bed in a shady Kirkwall inn, and yet at Solas' words he truly did feel beautiful. All his doubts from earlier melted away, and he truly felt worthwhile. It was all a little overwhelming, and he could feel his eyes welling up, but he couldn't stop smiling either.
One could have worse problems, he supposed.]
I have never been so happy as I am now. [He placed his hands on either side of Solas' face to press a loving kiss to his lips... then became more aware of the hot erection still pressing against his abdomen. Slowly, tentatively, but with a bit more confidence than he had earlier, he let one hand trace from his lover's jaw, down his chest, and brush across his hip until he took hold of the throbbing member, letting his thumb briefly roll over the tip.
He affectionately nuzzles his face against Solas', he didn't want to leave him disappointed.] Don't stop Vhenan, let me make you happy too.
[ How starved for affection was Lad if such a simple remark could bring him almost to tears? He brings his hand up to brush away the wetness and sighs into the kiss.
At least he was happy. If Solas has accomplished anything, it's bringing a small bit of light to the man's life.
He draws in a long breath as Lad takes him in hand and presses his face against his. Eyes closed, he moans into Lad's ear as he rolls his hips into his partner's hand. ] I want nothing more.
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It's the sound of the sigh that pulls him from his moment of pleasure, his eyes opening to take in the expression on Lad's face. When he finishes speaking, Solas sighs softly. ]
I never thought you did. [ And perhaps that's a light jab at matters beyond those in the bedroom. ] What feels good?
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Then Solas makes the smart remark and he just goes back to pouting and lets out a huff. He wasn't really that mad, but he felt like he had to make a show of it being the drama queen he was. He's got a serious problem! He wants his pants off, but would it be weird now? He should have done it when he was standing maybe still? Or would that have seem too desperate? Wasn't there some sort of guideline for this?
Well, Solas seemed to like when he grinded up against him like this. He'd just passive aggressively squirm and shift his hips like he's trying to settle himself. Take that Vhenan.]
It's all felt good...
[He's pretty much adjusted to being in a perpetual state of horny and frustrated. He wanted to do more, but he wasn't certain what. This wasn't exactly covered in the "how to breed" lecture he got as a kid for obvious reasons.]
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Another sharp intake of breath and his eyes flutter shut as his hand grips Lad's waist, holding him there for a brief moment before releasing him. Best not to keep the easily startled version in place when he was tempted to rut against him. ]
Then what can I do to make this easier? [ He wanted Lad to be an active participant in his own pleasure which meant making sure the man was comfortable enough to do it. ]
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Please, just do something, don't leave it all up to me.
[That was a lot of pressure when he just felt so lost with all of this.]
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[ But if his partner would rather be more passive then Solas could accommodate. He reaches for Lad's hand and sits up further, nudging the other elf until he's the one laying down. ]
You can relax, Lad. If it was going to bite you... [ Then it would have already. He lets his hands settle on Lad's waist as he positions himself over his lover. Removing his trousers would be step one to place them on equal footing. ]
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[He obliged Solas and lifted his hips so that he could slide his trousers down off his hips. He let out a sigh, glad to be rid of them, then demurely looked up at Solas, tucking a his bangs behind his ear so he could watch Solas' reaction. If there was anything he knew it was that he had a pretty face, but this was the first time someone saw all of him.]
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A hand roams down Lad's side and finally he meets his partner's gaze as he straddles his hips. ]
You make this sound complicated. [ He settles his weight on Lad's thighs and reaches to take both of his hands in his. ] I would not be here if I thought this would end in a mistake.
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It was cut short as Solas shifted. He let himself fall back onto the pillow and inhaled sharply and spread his legs to accommodate his partner.]
Solas... [He brought their intertwined hinds to his lips so he could kiss Solas' fingers. He smiled up at him, nervous still, but also excited and genuinely happy.] ar lath ma.
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[ Lad loves him and judging by the affection, it wasn't a statement the man was throwing around in the moment. He hesitates though he leaves his hands in Lad's. He cared for the man, deeply, but he couldn't give him his heart, not when he was so unsure of his place here, in this Thedas.
But what could he say that wouldn't destroy the moment and leave the man beneath him shattered? He tries to find the words and fails. What comes out sounds pathetic even to his own ears, ] I did not realize your feelings were so strong.
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I know it hasn't been long, but I don't think I've ever been so happy with someone before. [He smiles as he looks down at their hands, and runs his thumb over Solas' fingers.] This is the longest I've ever been away from my clan. They've always been a few hours away at most. I should be homesick, and a part of me is, but I don't mind it really. Normally I'd be terrified, but I've just been happy, and when we've been together I can't think of anything that I'm afraid of.
[Disappointing Solas, and spiders aside of course. But he hasn't told Solas about the spiders thing yet. He's not going to for as long as he is able.]
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And if I decide to leave your clan when we return? [ he asks as he tugs Lad's hands together until he's clasping them. ] I do not want to make promises I cannot keep. If you are hoping for more-- [ More what? He falters there and shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts. ]
I do not know how much of myself I can give now.
[ With all he has lost and what he is trying to regain, in seeking his place in the world... Lad was a good partner, someone who kept it far lighter than Solas and provided him a cheerful alternative to his thoughts when they threatened to darken. He couldn't burden him with that when he was in no place to offer the same. ]
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He was tempted, but he knew he couldn't.]
Well, the heart wants what it wants. I can't make you feel the same for me, and I can't change how I feel either but...
[He felt like an idiot for it now, but what could he do? He loved him. That Solas hadn't completely pulled away was something, wasn't it? If he wanted to just use him, then he wouldn't have said anything, and if he didn't care somehow, he wouldn't be saying these things either.]
that's all the more reason to stay close right? In case you change your mind?
[His voice was quiet and more subdued, but he still looked up and smiled. He had to have some hope, that was what he was good for. He was afraid, and the levity that his affection brought was now accompanied by an anxious knot in his gut, but it was worth it. Being with Solas was worth the risk, and worth the wait.]
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You should not wait for someone to change their mind, da'samahl, [ he murmurs. ] You have far more worth than that. I can give you what I can offer for as long as I am able.
[ In whatever measure that would end up taking in their journey together. All he wanted was to be sure Lad understood. ]
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The cheeky little grin came back, and he managed to bring back the previous levity of his tone. He could just pretend things weren't so... so... messy between them, at least for now. It seemed to him that was something Solas might need too, he had things far worse. Ladanelan knew he at least had a place to call home to return to, Solas didn't. This way, Solas didn't have to be alone, and he got to make the man he loved happy. It was enough for him.]
How do you know this isn't simply about my desire to keep your freckles all to myself?
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Because you appeared serious for the first time since I've met you, [ he remarks, brushing Lad's hair out of his face. ] If you want me stop now or later--
[ In case Lad needed the reminded after their interlude. Solas could put his trousers back on, uncomfortably tight as they might be, and let Lad be if he wanted. Though if the man wanted to share this moment with him, he would gladly take part. ]
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I was serious like one other time! [He answers Solas' other remark by wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him. He hadn't forgotten. He had even considered it briefly, very briefly, but knew this was what he wanted and there was no turning back.
At least this way, he could make Solas happy for a time and could hopefully console himself with that if he eventually left, and Lad wouldn't even have to worry about Solas seeing him try to come to terms with it after, since he'd be gone. He couldn't deal with making such a fool of himself now, in a situation where he'd have to face the one he loved every day, he didn't think Solas could either. It had taken so much to get him to come out of his shell, if they pulled away now he feared Solas would retreat to it and try to shoulder his entire burden alone. Even if it wasn't love, Solas did care and he'd do what he thought would be best for him, even if it meant isolating himself.
And of course the more immediate and far less romantic reason that he's been hard for an entire age it felt like and he needed to get off, and the only person he wanted to get him off was Solas.]
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He rests his arms on either side of Lad, using them to keep himself upright, as he shifts to line their hips up. Lad wasn't the only one with a hard-on and wanting relief, a point Solas more than happily proves as he rolls his against Lad, groaning into their kiss. ]
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Go ahead, [ he murmurs, his own breathing uneven and hot against Lad's jaw as he keeps his hips firm against his partner but not moving. The man was free to lose himself in the motion as Solas bite and sucked his way to the crook of Lad's neck. ]
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Per Solas' instruction he rutted up into his lover, clumsily and desperate at first, but after a few awkward thrusts, he started to fall into a rhythm. His hips started to move more fluidly, though still rapid and hungry, his inexperience and blind lust driving him to rush to his climax... which was fast approaching. Stamina wasn't exactly something he was well practiced in.]
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With all of Lad's neck in easy reach, his mouth doesn't stop moving until the other man is sporting a decent sized mark. His hand moves to idly run his fingertips along the outer ridge of Lad's ear. ]
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He muttered bumbling words of affection and one more quiet "ar lath ma" as he finally eased himself down on the bed so he could catch his breath. His loins felt tender and he was just starting to realize what a mess he must look like, but he was happy.]
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Lad's quick finish means Solas is still hard and pressed against him though Solas isn't complaining. He kisses along Lad's marked neck until his lips are hovering over Lad's. ]
I have never seen you more beautiful, [ he murmurs. Desperate and wanting then a happy mess once he's found his release. ]
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One could have worse problems, he supposed.]
I have never been so happy as I am now. [He placed his hands on either side of Solas' face to press a loving kiss to his lips... then became more aware of the hot erection still pressing against his abdomen. Slowly, tentatively, but with a bit more confidence than he had earlier, he let one hand trace from his lover's jaw, down his chest, and brush across his hip until he took hold of the throbbing member, letting his thumb briefly roll over the tip.
He affectionately nuzzles his face against Solas', he didn't want to leave him disappointed.] Don't stop Vhenan, let me make you happy too.
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At least he was happy. If Solas has accomplished anything, it's bringing a small bit of light to the man's life.
He draws in a long breath as Lad takes him in hand and presses his face against his. Eyes closed, he moans into Lad's ear as he rolls his hips into his partner's hand. ] I want nothing more.
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