[He didn't pick up on anything too wrong at first. They hadn't really known each other very long, especially to an immortal. He gives Solas' hands a squeeze.]
I know it hasn't been long, but I don't think I've ever been so happy with someone before. [He smiles as he looks down at their hands, and runs his thumb over Solas' fingers.] This is the longest I've ever been away from my clan. They've always been a few hours away at most. I should be homesick, and a part of me is, but I don't mind it really. Normally I'd be terrified, but I've just been happy, and when we've been together I can't think of anything that I'm afraid of.
[Disappointing Solas, and spiders aside of course. But he hasn't told Solas about the spiders thing yet. He's not going to for as long as he is able.]
[ That happened far more quickly than he would have thought. He frowns as he watches Lad, unsure of just how much he's expecting from this now. ]
And if I decide to leave your clan when we return? [ he asks as he tugs Lad's hands together until he's clasping them. ] I do not want to make promises I cannot keep. If you are hoping for more-- [ More what? He falters there and shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts. ]
I do not know how much of myself I can give now.
[ With all he has lost and what he is trying to regain, in seeking his place in the world... Lad was a good partner, someone who kept it far lighter than Solas and provided him a cheerful alternative to his thoughts when they threatened to darken. He couldn't burden him with that when he was in no place to offer the same. ]
[Solas first question was enough to wipe the silly little grin off his face. He obviously had not thought that far ahead. Was Solas truly considering leaving after this? Where would he go? A part of him wanted to ask to come with him, but before he does he thinks through it. Could he leave his clan? He had been raised his whole life to fulfill one role, he had a duty to his clan to take care of them. Could he really turn his back on them?
He was tempted, but he knew he couldn't.]
Well, the heart wants what it wants. I can't make you feel the same for me, and I can't change how I feel either but...
[He felt like an idiot for it now, but what could he do? He loved him. That Solas hadn't completely pulled away was something, wasn't it? If he wanted to just use him, then he wouldn't have said anything, and if he didn't care somehow, he wouldn't be saying these things either.]
that's all the more reason to stay close right? In case you change your mind?
[His voice was quiet and more subdued, but he still looked up and smiled. He had to have some hope, that was what he was good for. He was afraid, and the levity that his affection brought was now accompanied by an anxious knot in his gut, but it was worth it. Being with Solas was worth the risk, and worth the wait.]
[ Solas sighs deeply and leans down to rest his forehead against Lad's. They were here together and if Solas had wanted, had truly wanted to abandon the man, he would have walked out by now. Instead, he was here and he wanted to make sure Lad understood at least that much. ]
You should not wait for someone to change their mind, da'samahl, [ he murmurs. ] You have far more worth than that. I can give you what I can offer for as long as I am able.
[ In whatever measure that would end up taking in their journey together. All he wanted was to be sure Lad understood. ]
[He closed his eyes to bask in the gesture before focusing on what Solas was saying. He didn't know what to make of it really. Aside from being good for a laugh every so often, what else was there? There was obviously something wrong with him if Solas had been the first person he was able consider a friend in his life. He couldn't just say something like that though, but he couldn't bring himself to agree with Solas either, so he did what came naturally and deflected with a bit of humor.
The cheeky little grin came back, and he managed to bring back the previous levity of his tone. He could just pretend things weren't so... so... messy between them, at least for now. It seemed to him that was something Solas might need too, he had things far worse. Ladanelan knew he at least had a place to call home to return to, Solas didn't. This way, Solas didn't have to be alone, and he got to make the man he loved happy. It was enough for him.]
How do you know this isn't simply about my desire to keep your freckles all to myself?
[ Solas isn't sure if he finds Lad's reversion to his old self calming or worrying. In the end, the man is more than old enough to make his own decisions and Solas had said his piece. ]
Because you appeared serious for the first time since I've met you, [ he remarks, brushing Lad's hair out of his face. ] If you want me stop now or later--
[ In case Lad needed the reminded after their interlude. Solas could put his trousers back on, uncomfortably tight as they might be, and let Lad be if he wanted. Though if the man wanted to share this moment with him, he would gladly take part. ]
[He let out a sigh as Solas brush his bangs aside. If there was anything he was confident about it was that his hair was nice, and that he could finally see his efforts appreciated. Vanity had been a useful pastime after all!]
I was serious like one other time! [He answers Solas' other remark by wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him. He hadn't forgotten. He had even considered it briefly, very briefly, but knew this was what he wanted and there was no turning back.
At least this way, he could make Solas happy for a time and could hopefully console himself with that if he eventually left, and Lad wouldn't even have to worry about Solas seeing him try to come to terms with it after, since he'd be gone. He couldn't deal with making such a fool of himself now, in a situation where he'd have to face the one he loved every day, he didn't think Solas could either. It had taken so much to get him to come out of his shell, if they pulled away now he feared Solas would retreat to it and try to shoulder his entire burden alone. Even if it wasn't love, Solas did care and he'd do what he thought would be best for him, even if it meant isolating himself.
And of course the more immediate and far less romantic reason that he's been hard for an entire age it felt like and he needed to get off, and the only person he wanted to get him off was Solas.]
[ The kiss puts his concerns at ease and he presses eagerly into it, wasting no time in deepening it. If this was what Lad wanted, then he wouldn't deny either of them a moment of respite.
He rests his arms on either side of Lad, using them to keep himself upright, as he shifts to line their hips up. Lad wasn't the only one with a hard-on and wanting relief, a point Solas more than happily proves as he rolls his against Lad, groaning into their kiss. ]
[Ladanelan hummed from the pleasing sensation, melting into his lover's touch. He hadn't it expected it to feel much different from masterbating, but there was so much more to take in- the feel of Solas' body moving against his, the taste of his lips, and the heat from their loins grinding together. It was was enough to make him reflexively jerk his hips up to press himself more into his lover, it made him break the kiss for a moment to gasp from the unexpected wave of pleasure the movement brought him.]
[ There was one thing to be said for Lad, he made it very clear that he was enjoying himself. Solas smiles as he pulls back from the kiss, biting at Lad's bottom lip as his mouth travels along his jawline. ]
Go ahead, [ he murmurs, his own breathing uneven and hot against Lad's jaw as he keeps his hips firm against his partner but not moving. The man was free to lose himself in the motion as Solas bite and sucked his way to the crook of Lad's neck. ]
[He let his head fall back to give Solas all the access to his neck that he wanted, his name quick to spill from Ladanelan's lips with the new attention. The feeling of Solas' mouth lingered on his neck and it made his skin tingle in anticipation where he would feel his lover's lips next. Just to keep himself grounded he had to grab onto whatever he could, so he brought a hand to Solas' head and entangled it in his partner's loosely bound mane.
Per Solas' instruction he rutted up into his lover, clumsily and desperate at first, but after a few awkward thrusts, he started to fall into a rhythm. His hips started to move more fluidly, though still rapid and hungry, his inexperience and blind lust driving him to rush to his climax... which was fast approaching. Stamina wasn't exactly something he was well practiced in.]
[ His eyes flutter closed and he groans into Lad's neck as he lets himself be used to bring Lad off. It wouldn't be the most satisfying orgasm the man could have had, but it would be an easy start and gave his partner a chance to take control of his own enjoyment. That was something Solas could tell he had very little practice in. They had a long journey ahead of them and many more nights they would be spending together.
With all of Lad's neck in easy reach, his mouth doesn't stop moving until the other man is sporting a decent sized mark. His hand moves to idly run his fingertips along the outer ridge of Lad's ear. ]
[If Solas told him that he could have had a better orgasm, Ladanelan wouldn't have believed him. He didn't even know he could cum as hard as he did. His mind had gone blank when he climaxed and he called out for his lover without any consideration to those that might hear. When he started to come down from it he found he had arched his back up into Solas, and wrapped his legs around his waist. His hand was balled into a fist in his lovers hair, pulling it hard, though that had been unintentional, and he loosened his grip once he had rode out his orgasm.
He muttered bumbling words of affection and one more quiet "ar lath ma" as he finally eased himself down on the bed so he could catch his breath. His loins felt tender and he was just starting to realize what a mess he must look like, but he was happy.]
[ Spirits, had he ever been this full of fervor to get off? Lad's energy is infectious as he groans into the man, one of his hands resting on Lad's leg to keep it up and around him. With his lover's hand balled into his hair, he tugs his head enough to feel the satisfying pull on his scalp.
Lad's quick finish means Solas is still hard and pressed against him though Solas isn't complaining. He kisses along Lad's marked neck until his lips are hovering over Lad's. ]
I have never seen you more beautiful, [ he murmurs. Desperate and wanting then a happy mess once he's found his release. ]
[If it had been anyone else, at any other time, he'd think they were mad. He was covered in sweat, his normally meticulously done hair was a disheveled mess, he was on his back naked on bed in a shady Kirkwall inn, and yet at Solas' words he truly did feel beautiful. All his doubts from earlier melted away, and he truly felt worthwhile. It was all a little overwhelming, and he could feel his eyes welling up, but he couldn't stop smiling either.
One could have worse problems, he supposed.]
I have never been so happy as I am now. [He placed his hands on either side of Solas' face to press a loving kiss to his lips... then became more aware of the hot erection still pressing against his abdomen. Slowly, tentatively, but with a bit more confidence than he had earlier, he let one hand trace from his lover's jaw, down his chest, and brush across his hip until he took hold of the throbbing member, letting his thumb briefly roll over the tip.
He affectionately nuzzles his face against Solas', he didn't want to leave him disappointed.] Don't stop Vhenan, let me make you happy too.
[ How starved for affection was Lad if such a simple remark could bring him almost to tears? He brings his hand up to brush away the wetness and sighs into the kiss.
At least he was happy. If Solas has accomplished anything, it's bringing a small bit of light to the man's life.
He draws in a long breath as Lad takes him in hand and presses his face against his. Eyes closed, he moans into Lad's ear as he rolls his hips into his partner's hand. ] I want nothing more.
[He ran his free hand through Solas hair and whispers words of affection in his ear as he thrusts forward. If his inability to hold onto his orgasm brought any benefit, it was that now he could thoroughly enjoy Solas while he came to his. The difference was, Solas had picked out things he enjoyed rather early on, while he wasn't sure what Solas really liked. He knew well enough what felt good when touching a dick, he had a lot of experience in that regard, but there had to be other things.
So he kisses his lover's cheekbone as he moves his face closer to his ear.]
[ There's additional warmth curling inside his stomach at the soft words. Has he ever had a lover be this affectionate with him? Not in the same way Lad was being. Part of him twisted in guilt that he didn't fully return the feelings confessed--how could he when he was so out of place and unable to find his identity here?
What he needed was to be thinking far less. His breathing becomes uneven, almost a pant against Lad's skin. The breath on his ears gives him all the incentive he needs to direct his lover. ]
Use your mouth on my ears. And my hair-- [ his lips press against whatever part of Lad he can reach, another moan spilling out. ] Pull it.
[The heat from Solas' breath earned a small sigh from Ladanelan, even spent as he was, he could appreciate the feeling of Solas starting to lose himself. As instructed, Lad tangled his hand in Solas' hair once more and gave it a hard pull- but not too hard. Solas had very nice hair and he wasn't about to ruin that. He also gave a little pull on his lover's erection as he pulled back from a thrust just to see how Solas would react. Granting attention to Solas' ears was a far simpler matter. He just began punctuating the sweet words with kisses and occasionally nibbling along the flat of his ear or the earlobe.
Even if Solas couldn't see it, Lad continued to smile while showering his lover in attention. He found just pleasing Solas felt good in its own way, his earlier doubts melted away as he watched his lover come undone. Solas cared for him, found him beautiful, that was enough for him. If simply being that could make his partner feel so good, then that was enough for him.]
[ As tentative and new as Lad was at this, Solas was able to lose himself in the motions. There's a sharp inhale of breath as Lad pulls on his hair, but his focus quickly shifts to the teeth and hand on him. He meets the pull with a moan, deep and wanting, as he bucks his hips firmly into Lad's touch. With his head tilted, he lets Lad have at his ear as the affection washes over him. ]
Keep going, [ he encourages, breath coming in pants and he runs his tongue over dry lips. ]
[Lad affectionately nuzzled his face against Solas' and kissed his cheek even playfully nipping it, then passionately claimed his lover's lips once more, then trailed kisses along his jaw back to his ear.
He had to say that the view over Solas' shoulder at this angle was quite nice. He watched the muscles in his back move as he thrust forward, along with tantalizing glances of his handsome backside when he pulled back. He kept up with the pulling motion in time with Solas' thrusts, and let a sigh of contentment. Oh how he wanted to stay like this all night.]
[ With his lips against Lad's, he returns the affection hard enough to bruise as he moans against the other man. It's too long since he's been with another and he almost forgot how good it felt to have the warmth of someone else with him.
His hands run down Lad's, fingernails pressing in as he does so. As Lad's mouth moves from his, his moans become easy to hear as he presses against Lad. ]
You're beautiful, [ he says, a light pant in his voice as he rocks into Lad's hand. Close, he was getting close and he may not be able to return all the endearments Lad was giving him, but he cared a great deal. ] I'm grateful it was you that found me in those ruins.
[The hard kisses earned a pleased whimper from Lad, it felt good. Really good. He didn't think he could get it up again before Solas' finished at the very least, but things were starting to get a reaction out of him again.
The words made his heart flutter as only Solas' words could do, and he pulled his face back to just watch his lover. He still could barely believe that this amazing gorgeous man found him beautiful. It made it all the sweeter watching solas in the throes of pleasure and knowing it was because of him.]
I wouldn't trade that day for anything. [He moved his hand from Solas' hair to lovingly cup his cheek, and placed a tender kiss to Solas' sweat-covered brow.] No matter what happens [A kiss to his cheekbone.] Or how things end up between us [A kiss to his ear.] I want you to know [Then one more gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth] that I'm so happy I fell in love with you, Solas.
[And once more he takes Solas' lips, returning Solas' earlier fervor with his own.]
[ Would Lad truly be all right no matter what happened? It's a question that crosses his mind only for a moment as Lad is able to distract him thoroughly.
His eyes flutter closed as his hands settle on Lad's waist to give himself an anchor. Lad may not be his first lover, but the man is the most affectionate in his gestures. It's clear he had a lot of love to give that was spilling out of him and something warms in Solas with the realization that he's the focus for it.
Solas doesn't attempt words, instead letting his feelings pour into their kiss. As the movements of his hips become more rushed, hurried as he chases that building of pleasure, his breath catches and he uses Lad's mouth to muffle all the sounds that spill from him.
As his orgasm overtakes him, he bites down hard on Lad's bottom lip and keeps hold until he feels himself starting to come down from that high. ]
[He couldn't help but let out a surprised whimper when Solas bit hard, but it's soon followed up by a pleased muffling moan. He didn't think he'd like this sort of thing, but the rougher Solas was, the better it felt. There was probably a limit on how much he could actually take, but for now he wasn't bothered at all by the slight metallic taste in his mouth from a split lip. The sting along with the feeling of Solas' reaching his climax in his hand, and the hot cum on his stomach was almost as cathartic as reaching his own orgasm.
Once he's certain he's milked the last of Solas' orgasm from him, he wipes his hand on the sheets (not his sheets, not his problem), and moves to pull Solas closer to him. They'd have to clean themselves up soon, but Solas could take a moment to catch his breath first. Lad wrapped one arm around his back and used the hand on Solas' face to guide his head into the crook of Lad's neck. He stroked his cheekbone with his thumb and nestled his cheek against his lover's forehead.]
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I know it hasn't been long, but I don't think I've ever been so happy with someone before. [He smiles as he looks down at their hands, and runs his thumb over Solas' fingers.] This is the longest I've ever been away from my clan. They've always been a few hours away at most. I should be homesick, and a part of me is, but I don't mind it really. Normally I'd be terrified, but I've just been happy, and when we've been together I can't think of anything that I'm afraid of.
[Disappointing Solas, and spiders aside of course. But he hasn't told Solas about the spiders thing yet. He's not going to for as long as he is able.]
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And if I decide to leave your clan when we return? [ he asks as he tugs Lad's hands together until he's clasping them. ] I do not want to make promises I cannot keep. If you are hoping for more-- [ More what? He falters there and shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts. ]
I do not know how much of myself I can give now.
[ With all he has lost and what he is trying to regain, in seeking his place in the world... Lad was a good partner, someone who kept it far lighter than Solas and provided him a cheerful alternative to his thoughts when they threatened to darken. He couldn't burden him with that when he was in no place to offer the same. ]
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He was tempted, but he knew he couldn't.]
Well, the heart wants what it wants. I can't make you feel the same for me, and I can't change how I feel either but...
[He felt like an idiot for it now, but what could he do? He loved him. That Solas hadn't completely pulled away was something, wasn't it? If he wanted to just use him, then he wouldn't have said anything, and if he didn't care somehow, he wouldn't be saying these things either.]
that's all the more reason to stay close right? In case you change your mind?
[His voice was quiet and more subdued, but he still looked up and smiled. He had to have some hope, that was what he was good for. He was afraid, and the levity that his affection brought was now accompanied by an anxious knot in his gut, but it was worth it. Being with Solas was worth the risk, and worth the wait.]
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You should not wait for someone to change their mind, da'samahl, [ he murmurs. ] You have far more worth than that. I can give you what I can offer for as long as I am able.
[ In whatever measure that would end up taking in their journey together. All he wanted was to be sure Lad understood. ]
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The cheeky little grin came back, and he managed to bring back the previous levity of his tone. He could just pretend things weren't so... so... messy between them, at least for now. It seemed to him that was something Solas might need too, he had things far worse. Ladanelan knew he at least had a place to call home to return to, Solas didn't. This way, Solas didn't have to be alone, and he got to make the man he loved happy. It was enough for him.]
How do you know this isn't simply about my desire to keep your freckles all to myself?
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Because you appeared serious for the first time since I've met you, [ he remarks, brushing Lad's hair out of his face. ] If you want me stop now or later--
[ In case Lad needed the reminded after their interlude. Solas could put his trousers back on, uncomfortably tight as they might be, and let Lad be if he wanted. Though if the man wanted to share this moment with him, he would gladly take part. ]
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I was serious like one other time! [He answers Solas' other remark by wrapping his arms around his neck and kissing him. He hadn't forgotten. He had even considered it briefly, very briefly, but knew this was what he wanted and there was no turning back.
At least this way, he could make Solas happy for a time and could hopefully console himself with that if he eventually left, and Lad wouldn't even have to worry about Solas seeing him try to come to terms with it after, since he'd be gone. He couldn't deal with making such a fool of himself now, in a situation where he'd have to face the one he loved every day, he didn't think Solas could either. It had taken so much to get him to come out of his shell, if they pulled away now he feared Solas would retreat to it and try to shoulder his entire burden alone. Even if it wasn't love, Solas did care and he'd do what he thought would be best for him, even if it meant isolating himself.
And of course the more immediate and far less romantic reason that he's been hard for an entire age it felt like and he needed to get off, and the only person he wanted to get him off was Solas.]
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He rests his arms on either side of Lad, using them to keep himself upright, as he shifts to line their hips up. Lad wasn't the only one with a hard-on and wanting relief, a point Solas more than happily proves as he rolls his against Lad, groaning into their kiss. ]
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Go ahead, [ he murmurs, his own breathing uneven and hot against Lad's jaw as he keeps his hips firm against his partner but not moving. The man was free to lose himself in the motion as Solas bite and sucked his way to the crook of Lad's neck. ]
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Per Solas' instruction he rutted up into his lover, clumsily and desperate at first, but after a few awkward thrusts, he started to fall into a rhythm. His hips started to move more fluidly, though still rapid and hungry, his inexperience and blind lust driving him to rush to his climax... which was fast approaching. Stamina wasn't exactly something he was well practiced in.]
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With all of Lad's neck in easy reach, his mouth doesn't stop moving until the other man is sporting a decent sized mark. His hand moves to idly run his fingertips along the outer ridge of Lad's ear. ]
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He muttered bumbling words of affection and one more quiet "ar lath ma" as he finally eased himself down on the bed so he could catch his breath. His loins felt tender and he was just starting to realize what a mess he must look like, but he was happy.]
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Lad's quick finish means Solas is still hard and pressed against him though Solas isn't complaining. He kisses along Lad's marked neck until his lips are hovering over Lad's. ]
I have never seen you more beautiful, [ he murmurs. Desperate and wanting then a happy mess once he's found his release. ]
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One could have worse problems, he supposed.]
I have never been so happy as I am now. [He placed his hands on either side of Solas' face to press a loving kiss to his lips... then became more aware of the hot erection still pressing against his abdomen. Slowly, tentatively, but with a bit more confidence than he had earlier, he let one hand trace from his lover's jaw, down his chest, and brush across his hip until he took hold of the throbbing member, letting his thumb briefly roll over the tip.
He affectionately nuzzles his face against Solas', he didn't want to leave him disappointed.] Don't stop Vhenan, let me make you happy too.
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At least he was happy. If Solas has accomplished anything, it's bringing a small bit of light to the man's life.
He draws in a long breath as Lad takes him in hand and presses his face against his. Eyes closed, he moans into Lad's ear as he rolls his hips into his partner's hand. ] I want nothing more.
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So he kisses his lover's cheekbone as he moves his face closer to his ear.]
Tell me what you like, Vhenan, and I'll do it.
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What he needed was to be thinking far less. His breathing becomes uneven, almost a pant against Lad's skin. The breath on his ears gives him all the incentive he needs to direct his lover. ]
Use your mouth on my ears. And my hair-- [ his lips press against whatever part of Lad he can reach, another moan spilling out. ] Pull it.
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Even if Solas couldn't see it, Lad continued to smile while showering his lover in attention. He found just pleasing Solas felt good in its own way, his earlier doubts melted away as he watched his lover come undone. Solas cared for him, found him beautiful, that was enough for him. If simply being that could make his partner feel so good, then that was enough for him.]
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Keep going, [ he encourages, breath coming in pants and he runs his tongue over dry lips. ]
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He had to say that the view over Solas' shoulder at this angle was quite nice. He watched the muscles in his back move as he thrust forward, along with tantalizing glances of his handsome backside when he pulled back. He kept up with the pulling motion in time with Solas' thrusts, and let a sigh of contentment. Oh how he wanted to stay like this all night.]
I'm right here Vhenan. I have you.
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His hands run down Lad's, fingernails pressing in as he does so. As Lad's mouth moves from his, his moans become easy to hear as he presses against Lad. ]
You're beautiful, [ he says, a light pant in his voice as he rocks into Lad's hand. Close, he was getting close and he may not be able to return all the endearments Lad was giving him, but he cared a great deal. ] I'm grateful it was you that found me in those ruins.
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The words made his heart flutter as only Solas' words could do, and he pulled his face back to just watch his lover. He still could barely believe that this amazing gorgeous man found him beautiful. It made it all the sweeter watching solas in the throes of pleasure and knowing it was because of him.]
I wouldn't trade that day for anything. [He moved his hand from Solas' hair to lovingly cup his cheek, and placed a tender kiss to Solas' sweat-covered brow.] No matter what happens [A kiss to his cheekbone.] Or how things end up between us [A kiss to his ear.] I want you to know [Then one more gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth] that I'm so happy I fell in love with you, Solas.
[And once more he takes Solas' lips, returning Solas' earlier fervor with his own.]
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His eyes flutter closed as his hands settle on Lad's waist to give himself an anchor. Lad may not be his first lover, but the man is the most affectionate in his gestures. It's clear he had a lot of love to give that was spilling out of him and something warms in Solas with the realization that he's the focus for it.
Solas doesn't attempt words, instead letting his feelings pour into their kiss. As the movements of his hips become more rushed, hurried as he chases that building of pleasure, his breath catches and he uses Lad's mouth to muffle all the sounds that spill from him.
As his orgasm overtakes him, he bites down hard on Lad's bottom lip and keeps hold until he feels himself starting to come down from that high. ]
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Once he's certain he's milked the last of Solas' orgasm from him, he wipes his hand on the sheets (not his sheets, not his problem), and moves to pull Solas closer to him. They'd have to clean themselves up soon, but Solas could take a moment to catch his breath first. Lad wrapped one arm around his back and used the hand on Solas' face to guide his head into the crook of Lad's neck. He stroked his cheekbone with his thumb and nestled his cheek against his lover's forehead.]
I have you Vhenan. Catch your breath.
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