[NSFW] Open post

[lonesomewanderer]

Dumping ground for trash.

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[lonesomewanderer]

[ It's hard to avoid watching Lad with how they were sitting. He clears his throat awkwardly and tries to focus on cleaning himself, stealing glances as Lad worries about himself. ]

You appeared as if you were enjoying yourself. I was concerned, [ he admits. Concerned that Lad had done it all, was merely putting on a show. That he genuinely enjoyed himself helped. ]

You are free to act as you wish here.

[lendedahand]

[Lad shifted his hair off to one side, and tilted his head accordingly to expose his neck, giving Solas a nice view as he washed.]

Concerned? Over what?

[His mind couldn't quite follow Solas' reasoning. It was his duty to pleasure others after all. Why would him doing that be a concern? Solas' last statement was almost as curious, Lad simply assumed he was referring to their little secret rule breaking.]

[lonesomewanderer]

About your enjoyment? Or desire to do it at all? [ he asks, brow raised. He's watching Lad, but keeping his focus on the man's expression.

Did he truly not think of it like that? That this life was simply how things were? There were better things out there for him. As soon as he was able, he'd speak to Mythal about this because the implications were concerning. ]

[lendedahand]

[Solas’ stare gave him pause, something about the expression wasn’t right, at least not right in what he was trying to accomplish.]

Solas, I’m a slave without anyone’s favor. None of that is important, it’s just something nice to look forward to when it does happen. At the end of the day I’m just as bound to my duties as you are.

[Such has been the case with Solas, but that was rare. Very rare. He honestly had never had sex with someone as gentle and affectionate as Solas had been. But it wasn’t something he should be getting used to. At best it would be a nice treat when Mythal’s people visited. Otherwise he’d be back to the same routine.]

[lonesomewanderer]

That does not mean you are without worth, Ladanelan.

[ Because he wonders if the man realizes that. He keeps his gaze steady with Lad's, hands stilling. Something had to change, something would bend and buckle. How long until he was tired of playing his own part in this charade?

He needed to speak with Mythal more than he knew. ]

[lendedahand]

[Lad laughed as he leaned back against Solas chest and playfully tapped him on the nose. What a funny thing to say!]

Of course I am worth something! I may not be the highest ranking, but I do my job well enough, and I am attractive.

[lonesomewanderer]

[ He lets out a small sigh and goes back to cleaning himself off. ]

Are you happy with your work then? [ He had sounded fearful, scared to misstep even slightly in the eyes of those 'higher' than him. ]

[lendedahand]

[Another odd question. It wasn’t something he thought was very relevant. What did it matter in the end? He would still have to do the work regardless, and he considered himself lucky in regards of his work versus others. He ate better, his beatings were less severe, and at least his work could feel good with the right client.]

Are you happy with yours?

[lonesomewanderer]

Most of the time, yes, [ he answers honestly.

He preferred to teach, to learn and share his knowledge with others. That was only one of his strengths, his others had overshadowed it in terms of his usefulness. His role as a trusted strategist and general of sorts had brought him greater favor, but it was not the work he was happiest doing. ]

[lendedahand]

[He shrugged, thinking he wasn't much different. Of course he had very little to compare it to, he only saw those that served Sylaise. Aside from the guests of those that visited, but he never got to see how they lived their lives day to day.]

It's the same for me. There are good days and bad days, people I like to work with and people I don't. As long as I do what I'm told, I'm treated well. I'm lucky my duty is what it is, there are a lot of worse alternatives.

[Of course most people didn't have to sleep with those they didn't care for, but Lad just thought of it as another part of his job.]

[lonesomewanderer]

[ He frowns slightly and tentatively rests a hand on Lad's shoulder in an attempt to reassure the man. He had not meant to delve so deeply. ]

You should be treated well for what you do, [ he says with a shake of his head. ] There are not many that take pride in bringing joy to others.

[ Or so he hoped he was understanding this correctly. ]

[lendedahand]

You know, you're as strange as you are handsome.

[He gave Solas a curious look, though there was some humor behind it. They were speaking the same language and yet it was almost as though they were having two entirely different conversations. He was trying to figure out what Solas was getting at, but he couldn't quite place a finger on it.]

This would not be my duty if I was not found to be good at it in some sense. [He supposed he should be proud of that, he was attractive, more than others if he had been trained for this duty and no others. Though there could be another reason, and he laughed thinking about it as he went back to washing himself.] Or maybe I'm just that bad at other tasks.

[lonesomewanderer]

I have been called strange and worse many times before.

[ The notion was not new to him. He shakes his head and once he feels he's clean enough, he's rinsing out his cloth to set aside to dry. Lad had his full attention now though his interest was clearly on the man's face and words rather than the rest of his features. ]

What do you enjoy doing? [ Because surely Sylaise allowed them hobbies. ]

[lendedahand]

I like it. It’s cute.

[Confusing as well, but the way his face scrunched up when he thought was cute. Though he was a little frustrated his efforts to look appealing were going unnoticed, so he simply gave up on the endeavor. He placed his cloth off to the side and leaned back against Solas while he went about answering his question with a shrug.]

I’m usually too busy to indulge myself. A lot of people come through here for our services. Even on slower days I’ll just accept some of the lower ranking slaves stopping by, since they seem to need it.

[lonesomewanderer]

I--

[ He blinks back his surprise as his arms rest comfortably around Lad. Solas is trying very hard to imagine what a typical day must appear like for Lad and his fellows. It's damn near impossible for him. ]

Does that not get tiring? I cannot imagine doing this all day with others.

[lendedahand]

Doesn't any work get tiring if you do it all day?

[He says as he settles contently in Solas' arms. Sure he was exhausted by the end of a day, but wasn't that normal? Of course his work required a different sort of stamina than working in a kitchen, but both were still tough duties.]

It's usually a little easier if you don't get yourself off until the last few clients if you can help it. As one with a lower rank I generally don't spend too much time with clients, more often than not I just get bent over a table or bed and they do what they will.

[That wasn't always the case, but it happened enough to make the day easier to take.]

[lonesomewanderer]

[ He can't withhold the visible way he winces at the way Lad puts it. Because that was far from 'work' to him, that was demeaning and he feels a pang of guilt for the part he's now played in it though Lad had made it sound as if this had been different. ]

And that is simply work for you?

[lendedahand]

Yes, that's how it's always been.

[He watched Solas' reaction with some concern, and reached up to stroke the side of his face with the back of his fingers in comfort.]

What's wrong?

[lonesomewanderer]

[ He reaches to take Lad's hand, squeezing it tightly for a moment. It was a kindness he did not deserve but would welcome it if it was being given. ]

I did not mean to take advantage of you like the others.

[lendedahand]

Oh now you're just being silly.

[He laughed and turned around so he could face Solas. Of course that meant he was pressing against him chest-to-chest, but that felt good for him, and he suspected Solas as well, so he didn't see how it might be awkward. It made it easier for him to drape his free arm around Solas' neck and lean up to kiss his cheek.]

I had a lot of fun with you, I don't usually get that. You're gentle and... [He paused to try and think how to put it, but he couldn't find the words for it.] it's hard to explain but I like the way you touch me. It's different.

[lonesomewanderer]

[ The temptation was there to wrap his arms around him, to rest his forehead against Lad's' and simply breath. No wonder the man was good at his given profession. The change in positioning causes him to tense for a moment before he eases and loosely rests an arm around his waist. ]

Will you tell me if I overstep your boundaries? If I do something you do not want? [ If the man even had boundaries. ]

[lendedahand]

If you can find any, I promise I'll let you know.

[He chuckled, but he could sense Solas was still troubled about it. It was his job to do so and act accordingly. He shifted so that he was sitting on Solas' lap, and placed his hands on either side of his face. Then he pressed his forehead against the other's, gently hushing him to try and help ease his worries.]

You worry too much Solas. Everything is alright. Has hearing about my duties truly saddened you so?

[lonesomewanderer]

[ He sighs and presses into the touch, closing his eyes as he centers himself. Saddened isn't the right word, more angered and frustrated at the way matters are handled elsewhere. If only Sylaise committed a gross misconduct or travesty then Mythal would have authority to step in. ]

Am I meant to be thrilled? [ he murmurs. ] I do not enjoy hearing of you being hurt.

[lendedahand]

I am little more than a stranger to you, and I am of a far lower ranking. I am surprised you can feel so strongly about me at all.

[Lad smiled as Solas leaned in, glad to be able to get him to calm despite how his mood seemed to have turned.]

But I should not be I think. Your heart is as gentle as your touch. I am glad it was Mythal that found you.

[One hand wandered down Solas' arm and settled on his hand as he spoke. Hoping his gratitude for what Solas had done for him both before and now could show through a little. What a waste it would have been to see Solas' spirit broken by the treatment of other Evanuris.]

[lonesomewanderer]

That makes no difference, [ he insists.

It didn't matter that Lad was a stranger or lower ranking. There should be expectations for fair treatment. He was in service to an Evanuris, but that in and of itself was a gift. What would they all do if their slaves decided together they grew tired of it? Realized that they could do something about it? Perhaps all they needed were the tools.

He holds Lad tightly as if he's afraid the other man might leave him before murmuring his own gratitude, ] Thank you for being here tonight.